First of all, I have to give a shout out to Leslie for giving me this idea! I’m sorry that it came at the expense of your poor shoe, but it works for me! Especially since it’s all about me. 😉
Have you ever had a week full of ups and downs? The ups are the best! I love the ups. Feeling happy and strong and ready to tackle anything that life throws at me. I get a very “screw you” kind of attitude! You wanna come at me? Bring it! And then, almost within a blink, life wins and it knocks you down. But, to be honest, it’s these downs that make you stronger. How you handle them. Your coping techniques and your inner strength. You learn from the downs. You grow from the downs.
This made me think about a broken heel. I don’t wear a lot of high heels anymore, because I’m usually already the tallest person in the room. Plus, there are not a lot of occasions to wear heels here in Colorado. The dressiest of occasions generally means “jeans with no holes” instead of a gown and heels.
But, think about high heels. The whole point of the heel is to lift you up. Make you taller, make your legs and butt look better, make your posture straighter. Please keep in mind that high heels are the devil’s work…smashed toes and aching backs included. But, damn, you look amazing when you are wearing them. I know I feel more confident. I’m raised up a notch…check me out!
That’s the up. Then, the heel breaks and you fall. That’s the down. So, then you are faced with a problem. What do you do? Do you fix the heel? Do you try to walk on a heel that has been hot glued to within an inch of its life? Do you trust that heel? Or do you throw those shoes away because they failed?
Get where I’m going with this? Life is all about, “what do you do now?” What choice do you make? It affects everything. And, keep in mind that the choices you make today, will affect your life and the lives of your children in the future.
Here’s what I’ve learned to do…when your heel breaks and you are about to fall over, grab onto the arm of the person nearest you. They will keep you up. Surround yourself with people that will catch you. (Please do not come stand by me…I cannot guarantee I will catch you…especially if I’ve got a box of Cheezits in my hand. Sorry, not sorry!)
Falling sucks. Hitting the ground is even suckier. So, when you feel yourself falling…reach out. I am fricking loving this analogy so much, I can’t stand it!! High heels! Who knew?? Material for days!
So, I just created some ground rules for dealing with a broken heel, and now I will present them in the form of a list. Have I told you about my love of lists? Lists are life. And spreadsheets? Holy crap, even better!!
- Look around you. Who is there to catch you? (Again, please don’t look in my direction, especially if there are snacks nearby.)
- Learn how to reach out! This was especially difficult for me. I didn’t know how. I thought I was going to be stuck in a permanent fall forever, but I learned. I joined a group of people who literally forced me to ask for help. (Shout out to my ReBuilder brothers and sisters!). And my first ask? I asked Leslie to help me pick out paint colors for my kitchen. Which she did happily! And now she’s my partner in crime and my kitchen looks fabulous! All because I learned how to reach out.
- Accept the arm that is there. This one is the most challenging, I think. But, I’ve learned that people honestly want to help you. If you ask, they will do just about anything. If I called my mom tomorrow and said that I needed help, she would be here. If I texted any of a zillion people in my phone, they would come. It’s more than asking, though. It’s accepting. Two different things…both ridiculously hard.
- Be willing to help others. It’s a circle. You give and you get. You give without expecting reciprocation, but you know that when the day comes that you need help, people will be there. that’s the best feeling of all. You won’t fall, I promise.
And yeah, all of this sounds like I have my shit together, but I’m far from it. My heels have been broken and glued and taped and nailed together. I am being held up by a big mess. But, I’m not throwing them away. I will never throw them away. I am learning how to walk on mended heels. I get closer to having my shit together all of the time. But, you are never going to be completely done getting your shit together. Shit never comes all the way together for anyone. Your heels will never be brand new, they will never hold you up the same. But, all you can do is be a tad better each day. Shit happens. Shit doesn’t need to destroy you. You’ve got this. Screw you, shit!
Finding My Other Shoe 