Two steps forward, one step back—feeling like a pair of flip flops

As I’m walking down this road of introspection, I’m discovering so many new things.  It’s been amazing.  I can’t even tell you how happy I have been feeling.  I have gotten some very positive feedback from this blog…even people have asked when I’m going to write again!  And, I’ve heard that they are thinking about shoes and feelings…success!  Because, I gotta tell ya.  Writing about this stuff is pretty scary.  I kind of feel like I’m just walking around in my underwear, hoping people don’t run away screaming!  I have realized that I’ve been living my life with a mask on.  My sunshine mask!  Just call me Lori Sunshine!  And by revealing some uncomfortable things, my mask is starting to fall off.  But, guess what?  Underneath that mask?  There’s more frigging sunshine!  But it’s real!  And it is me.  Not faking it…the real deal.  Dammit, I’m lucky!

I know you’re dying to know about flip flops, amiright?  Ok, stay with me on this one.  Think about flip flops for a second.  There are a million styles.  You can get the cheap rubber guys for $1 at Old Navy.  You can get the swanky leather ones for a zillion dollars just about anywhere.  But, no matter what they cost, they all work the same.  A thin piece of something goes under your foot, to protect you from the ground.  Another piece of something barely tethers your foot to the shoe.  And then, every time you step forward with one foot, the other asshole shoe slaps you on the bottom of your foot!  So, even though you are trying to go forward, you get slapped with every step.

Profound, right?  Thank you, thank you.

This is how I have been living.  barely holding on.  I’m the little strap holding myself to the shoe.  I feel uncomfortable because I’m squished between two toes and I know I’m making someone uncomfortable by simply being there and doing my job.  The flat piece of rubber is barely hiding the bumps and the rocks that you have to travel to get through life.  This blog, and my people are that piece of rubber.  Helping me to not feel the bumps and the rocks as much.  Putting a little distance between me and those jagged edges helps to see them for what they are…a fricking pain!!

So, here is my plan.  I’m going to try to take that mother effing flip flop off and just walk on the rocks.  I’d rather do that, then have it slapping me with every step!  I can handle it.  I’ve gotten tough and strong.  I feel good!  GRRRRR!!

Anyway, enough seriousness for one day.  I’m too old to waste my time with being serious all of the time!  Let me tell you about my new venture with Dana.  (Remember me mentioning that in my previous blog?  No.  Go read it now.  I’ll wait.)

Dana is my cheerleader when it comes to writing.  So, she asked me to write for her and I did.  And guess what?  She flipping flipped!  She loved it.  I’m sooooo cocky now, I can’t even tell you.  I’m doing something that is so easy for me, yet she thinks I’m amazing.  I truly can’t pat myself on the back enough.  (Hold on.  Am *I* supposed to be doing the patting?  Nevermind.)

As you can see, I’ve a positive few days.  And I will do whatever I can to make them continue.  But, my flip flops don’t come off that easy.  I’m always wondering when the slap is going to come.  I’m dodging and ducking and dipping and diving and dodging.  (OMG, if you get that movie reference, come find me and we will run away together.).

I think that the ultimate goal is to not be afraid of the slap.  To keep moving forward and taking the slaps in stride.  Don’t let them take you down, because there’s always going to be another one coming.  But, once you know that your forward progression isn’t going to slow down, the slaps won’t hurt as much.  In fact, eventually you might not feel them at all.  And that, my friends, is where you will find peace.